Social Media and Divorce Rates

Published: Mar 6, 2023 | Updated: Mar 7, 2023 |

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Is Social Media Causing an Increase in Divorce Rates in the U.S.?

There have been some studies conducted on the relationship between social media use and divorce in the United States. Some studies have suggested that there is a correlation between social media use and divorce rates. For example, a 2014 study by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 81 percent of its members had seen an increase in the number of divorce cases involving social media evidence over the previous five years. The study also found that Facebook was the most common source of evidence cited in divorce cases.

Other studies have suggested that the relationship between social media use and divorce rates is more complex. A 2018 study published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior found that while social media use was associated with lower levels of marital satisfaction and higher levels of divorce, this relationship was mediated by other factors such as age, gender, and the length of the relationship.

Although there may be some correlation between social media use and divorce, it is important to note that correlation does not mean that increased social media use is causing the divorce rate to increase in the United States. Lets look at the data.

When did Social Media Start?

The data indicates that the most popular social media platforms started between 2004 and 2017. Facebook started in 2004 and TikTok in 2017.

The following chart shows what year each of the more popular social media platforms began. source:en.wikipedia.org

What are the Statistics on Social Media Usage Between 2005 and 2021?

The data indicates that by 2015, 65% of American Adults where using at least one social media platform, and by 2021, 80% of American adults where using YouTube, and 68% were using Facebook.

The following chart shows the percentage of American Adults that used social media between 2005 and 2015. source:pewresearch.org

american adults using social media from 2005-2015

The following chart shows the percentage of American Adults that used social media by social media platform in 2021.source: pewresearch.org

american adults using social media by platform in 2021

What Was the Divorce Rate in the United States From 2000 - 2021?

The data indicates that from 2000 to 2021, the number of divorces each year has been steadily declining from 944,000 in the year 2000 to 689,308 in the year 2021.

The following chart shows the divorce rates in the United States between 2000 and 2021.source:cdc.gov

divorce and annulment rates in the U.S. from 2000-2021

Increased Social Media Use is NOT causing an Increase in Divorce Rates

Increased Social Media Use is NOT causing an Increase in U.S. Divorce Rates

It is clear by the data that increased social media use is NOT causing an increase in U.S. divorce rates because the divorce rate has been steadily falling since the year 2000. If it were true you would see an increase in divorces between 2005 and 2015 as social media use ramped up. You would also see a corresponding spike in divorce rates between 2015 and 2021 as social media use became mainstream. If the divorce rates are not increasing, this begs the question: Why are people getting divorced if social media is not increasing the divorce rate?

why do people divorce

Why Do People Get Divorced?

There are many reasons why people get divorced, and these can vary from couple to couple. Lets examine some of the most common causes for divorce.

Communication Problems

Lack of Communication: When couples stop communicating with each other, they may become distant and grow apart. This can happen when one or both partners are unwilling to share their thoughts, feelings, and emotions with their spouse.
Poor Communication Skills: Some couples struggle with expressing themselves effectively, leading to misunderstandings and conflict. Poor communication skills can include interrupting, not listening, or being defensive.
Criticism and Contempt: When one partner criticizes or shows contempt for the other, it can create a hostile and negative environment. This can lead to feelings of resentment and bitterness, ultimately causing the relationship to fail.
Stonewalling: Stonewalling is when one partner shuts down and stops responding to the other. This can be a defensive mechanism that people use when they feel overwhelmed or attacked. It can prevent issues from being resolved and lead to a breakdown in communication.
Misunderstandings and Assumptions: Sometimes, couples assume that they understand what their partner is thinking or feeling without actually asking. This can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
Avoiding Difficult Conversations: Couples may avoid discussing difficult topics such as finances, parenting, or sex. This can lead to unresolved issues that can build up over time and eventually lead to divorce.

Infidelity

Betrayal: Infidelity can be seen as a betrayal of trust and can lead to feelings of hurt, anger, and resentment.
Loss of Intimacy: Infidelity can erode the intimacy in a relationship, leading to a feeling of disconnection and dissatisfaction.
Jealousy and Insecurity: Infidelity can create feelings of jealousy and insecurity, leading to ongoing conflict and tension in the relationship.
Emotional Affairs: Infidelity can take many forms, including emotional affairs where one partner becomes emotionally involved with someone else, leading to a loss of intimacy and connection with their partner.
Guilt and Shame: The partner who has cheated may experience feelings of guilt and shame, which can make it difficult to repair the relationship.
Lack of Forgiveness: The partner who has been cheated on may find it difficult to forgive their partner, leading to ongoing conflict and tension in the relationship.

Financial Issues

Debt: Debt can be a source of stress and anxiety, particularly if one partner has more debt than the other or if there is a disagreement over how to manage debt.
Disagreements Over Spending: Differences in spending habits or priorities can lead to conflict and tension, particularly if one partner is more frugal or conservative than the other.
Lack of Financial Planning: If couples do not have a clear plan for managing their finances, it can lead to confusion and tension over who is responsible for what.
Income Disparities: If one partner earns significantly more than the other, it can lead to feelings of resentment or power imbalances in the relationship.
Unemployment or Underemployment: If one partner loses their job or is unable to find work, it can create financial strain and tension in the relationship.
Secret Spending: If one partner is hiding their spending or financial activities from the other, it can erode trust and lead to conflict.
Lack of financial Transparency: If couples are not open and honest about their financial situation, it can lead to confusion and misunderstandings about their financial goals and priorities.

Incompatibility

Different Values and Goals: If couples have fundamentally different values or goals in life, it can create conflict and tension in the relationship, making it difficult for them to stay together.
Inability to Resolve Conflicts: Couples who struggle to work through their issues and conflicts effectively may find themselves unable to maintain a healthy relationship over the long term.
Different Lifestyles: If couples have very different lifestyles, such as one partner wanting to travel frequently and the other wanting to stay close to home, it can create tension and make it difficult for them to stay together.

Growing Apart

Emotional Distance: As couples grow apart, they may become emotionally distant from each other, leading to feelings of loneliness, isolation, and disconnection. This emotional distance can further erode the relationship and create a sense of hopelessness.
Different Interests and Hobbies: As couples grow apart, they may develop different interests and hobbies that don't involve their partner. This can lead to a lack of shared experiences and a feeling of drifting apart.
Busy Schedules: As couples grow apart, they may become increasingly busy with work, hobbies, or other commitments, leaving little time for each other. This can cause feelings of neglect and resentment, and further widen the gap between partners.

Domestic Abuse

Physical Violence: Physical abuse is one of the most obvious forms of domestic abuse and can cause significant physical harm to the victim. It can include hitting, slapping, choking, or any other form of physical harm.
Emotional Abuse: Emotional abuse can be just as damaging as physical abuse, and can include verbal abuse, threats, humiliation, and intimidation. This type of abuse can cause long-term psychological harm to the victim.
Financial Abuse: Financial abuse occurs when one partner controls the finances in the relationship and uses it as a means of control or manipulation. This can include preventing the victim from accessing money or making financial decisions.
Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse can take many forms, including forced sexual activity, coercion, or using sex as a means of control or manipulation. It can also involve sexual activity without the victim's consent.
Stalking: Stalking is a form of domestic abuse that involves repeated unwanted contact with the victim. This can include following the victim, sending unwanted messages, or showing up uninvited.

Substance Abuse

Trust Issues: Substance abuse can erode trust in a relationship. The spouse may be dishonest or unreliable, leading to a breakdown in trust and further strain on the relationship.
Neglect: Substance abuse can cause a spouse to neglect their partner and their responsibilities, such as not fulfilling household chores, not taking care of children, or missing important events. This can lead to feelings of resentment and a breakdown in communication.
Financial Problems: Substance abuse can lead to financial problems, such as spending money on drugs or alcohol instead of household expenses. This can lead to disagreements and arguments over money, which can further strain the relationship.
Emotional Distance: Substance abuse can cause a spouse to become emotionally distant from their partner. They may be preoccupied with obtaining and using drugs or alcohol, which can lead to a lack of intimacy and connection in the relationship.
Domestic Violence: Substance abuse can increase the likelihood of domestic violence, as the person may become more aggressive or violent while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
Infidelity: Substance abuse can also increase the likelihood of infidelity, as the person may engage in risky behavior or seek out new relationships while under the influence.

Sexual Incompatibility

Differences in Sexual Preferences: Sexual incompatibility can also stem from differences in sexual preferences or desires. One partner may have a higher sex drive than the other or may prefer different types of sexual activity.
Health Issues: Sexual incompatibility can also be caused by health issues that affect sexual function, such as erectile dysfunction or painful intercourse.
Resentment: Sexual incompatibility can lead to feelings of resentment between partners. One partner may feel neglected or unfulfilled, while the other may feel pressured or inadequate.
Infidelity: Sexual incompatibility can increase the likelihood of infidelity, as one partner may seek sexual fulfillment outside of the relationship.
Lack of Intimacy: Sexual incompatibility can lead to a lack of intimacy in the relationship, which can cause feelings of loneliness, isolation, and disconnection. This can further erode the relationship and create a sense of hopelessness.
Communication breakdown: Sexual incompatibility can cause a breakdown in communication between partners. They may feel uncomfortable discussing their needs and desires or may feel embarrassed or ashamed.

Does Social Media Affect Relationships (Leading to Divorce)?

Social media can and does affect relationships and sometimes plays a role in divorces by facilitating communications and interactions with other people, including ex-partners or potential romantic interests, but social media is generally not the direct cause of divorces, it only contributes to relationship problems by exacerbating existing issues. Social media may contribute to the following existing issues in a marriage.

Infidelity: Social media can make it easier for people to connect with others and engage in emotional or physical affairs. Social media platforms such as Facebook or dating apps can facilitate communication and lead to opportunities for infidelity.
Jealousy and Trust Issues: Social media can also increase jealousy and trust issues in relationships. Seeing photos or messages from an ex-partner or potential romantic interest can create feelings of insecurity and distrust.
Comparisons to Others: Social media can also contribute to unrealistic expectations in relationships, as people may compare their lives and relationships to those portrayed on social media. This can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction or pressure in the relationship.
Time spent on Social Media: Social media can also lead to time spent on devices and less time spent engaging with one's partner, leading to a breakdown in communication and intimacy in the relationship.
Publicizing Relationship Problems: Social media can provide a platform for airing relationship problems publicly, which can further damage the relationship and contribute to its breakdown.

How to Use Social Media Responsibly so it Does Not Harm Your Marriage

Set Boundaries: It is important to set boundaries with your partner regarding social media use. Discuss what is acceptable and what is not, and agree on how much time you both should spend on social media.
Be Transparent: Keep no secrets, and allow your spouse to view your social media accounts if an issue crops up.
Be mindful of PrivacyThink twice before sharing personal details about your relationship on social media. It is important to respect your partner's privacy and avoid sharing anything that could be seen as negative or hurtful.
Avoid Comparisons: Do not compare your relationship to others on social media. Remember that people often present a curated and edited version of their lives on social media, which may not reflect reality.
Communicate Openly: If something on social media is bothering you or causing tension in your relationship, talk to your partner about it openly and honestly. Addressing concerns early can help prevent further problems.
Prioritize your Relationship: Make sure you are spending quality time with your partner and not neglecting your relationship due to excessive social media use. Put your relationship first, and use social media as a way to enhance your connection, rather than as a replacement for it.
Use Social Media in a Positive Way: Share positive moments and experiences with your partner on social media. Use it as a way to express love and gratitude towards each other, and celebrate your relationship.

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